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Airbag

His eyes flinched, twitching
Like bats ears.
“Pick up your mother at 7, meet us at the restaurant.”

The world seemed an unhappy place,
His placid tears set to fill the Nile in a few short hours,
A half charged cell-phone
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Bou
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Nc
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp ing
On the seat like his blonde haired blue eyed thin framed
Perfectly sculpted
(ideal)
daughter.

Darkness and obsession a prelude to a needle,
Exasperation, struggling respiration
And an elongated, low pitched sigh.

The slick roads washing like soap suds,
Dry as desert
But in the incapable hands of our main character,
They were as slippery as a bathroom floor
Post bathing.

When he d r i f t e d
Into a lamppost,
Percussion cracked his skull like a sledge hammer,
Each bones fermata captured perfectly with a bass and snare,
Befitted perfectly with the occasional cymbal crash.

An airbag can only cushion your face for so long,
Until it leaves a mark in the steering wheel similar to Christ’s face on a cloth.

-
He thought of his mother.
Brown eyes.
She liked baseball and watching the plants grow on Sunday afternoons.
She was a short woman,
Always reaching for things and snapping fingers at him.
Beautiful.
-

Between the metallic strips tearing through his splintering jawbone,
He thought he smelled steak,
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp His lips trying as hard as they could to drip saliva
But they were currently quite preoccupied with disintegrating.

As his body contorted so far as to fit inside a typical office drawer,
Head whipping madly throw white airbags
And into glass windows,
He-

Saturday afternoon on the pier.
The sun was in the sky, incandescent for whatever reason,
Mother nature’s finest gem.
Her dress was a light yellow.
Her hands were fragile, like porcelain.


This whole process of dying seemed entirely too long,
Much unlike the movies but retaining that cinematic quality.
He felt something go through his lower back
And shrugged it off,
It’s momentary excruciation merely a segue to some finer glory he hoped to find.

The cement pillar seemed the titan in this struggle,
Our main character playing whatever anonymous henchman,
Just cannon fodder.

His left ear went dead as he felt a piece of glass
Tear through his ear drum,
Sounding briefly like masturbation but ending too quick to tell.

He wasn’t too sure when his rib cage cremated itself
and saved his parents the trouble,
But briefly he felt whatever wasn’t crushed rushing to fill the space.

She smiled.
Soon \ | / nooS


Finally.
He knew what she meant.
.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2003-01-01
Airbag by chaosboy is a masterpiece. The poem takes the reader deep into a journey of the definitive moments of life. To describe such a time is hard, but chaosboy has done a fantastic job with amazing imagery and powerful lines.

“This whole process of dying seemed entirely too long,
Much unlike the movies but retaining that cinematic quality.
He felt something go through his lower back
And shrugged it off,
It’s momentary excruciation merely a segue to some finer glory he hoped to find.


The first few lines captured my attention and it was hard to look away till I had finished reading the entire poem. Picked and written by ~ rajivmathur (Selected by ^faithwalker) ( Featured by faithwalker )
:iconlongliz:
LongLiz Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
First DD ever!
Reply
:iconcold-angle:
cold-angle Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow, the very first DD
Reply
:iconxxxroxieheartxxx:
xxxroxieheartxxx Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2006
Beautiful. It really flows. It's perfect.
Reply
:iconkodkinism:
kodkinism Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2003
Oh. My. Word!

ohmyword!

I have honestly never in my life read anything like this. And i am sitting here seriously considering not reading any more poetry ever again at all because i dont think I ever will read anything like it again. . .

This Voting thing needs to go higher than 100%, because its a sin only giving this 100%

I am at a complete loss for words. I never thought it was possible.

I cant even crit it.

+fav +onmywall +learnitoffbyheart +idunnojustSOMETHING

~kodkinism

Reply
:iconservechilled55:
servechilled55 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2003   Writer
you are probably the best poet i have found on here.
Reply
:iconsummerglow:
summerglow Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003   Writer
I usually get bored reading poems this length, but this one kept me interested. :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconwernstrum:
wernstrum Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2003
hi
i should have commented earlier but thought the comment would be lost in the pile.

Anyways, gr8 piece amazing character given to all the momentary elements, and as for the

Soon | / nooS

part i think i get it.

it is a point made about death. we cant imagine what it is like. u break every single moment up and analyse it leading up to death while not actually describing the act because u can't conceive it. thats what the Soon |/ Noos is. finally he understands but we will never because we r still alive.
ive written something similar to this but not as splendid.

its a gr8 concept to grapple with.
Reply
:iconbatgaz:
batgaz Featured By Owner May 14, 2003   Writer
Love the way I saw the whole thing in slow motion. Simply breath-taking! +fav
Reply
:iconqueenofspades:
queenofspades Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2003   Writer
I was just in an accident recently. Great Poem...+fav
Reply
:icondougdrums:
dougdrums Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2003
Wow, this poem almost makes time stand still.
Reply
:iconreincore:
reincore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003   Photographer
Touching, profound.


Speechless.
Reply
:iconmastermindg:
mastermindg Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
as always, excellent flow and description. what a pieceof work.
Reply
:iconevoid:
evoid Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
satisfaction. i got tingles.
Reply
:iconice-man-ak:
ice-man-ak Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
What did she mean?
Reply
:iconignite:
ignite Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003  Professional Artist
!



that is all i can say.
Reply
:icondigitalhigh:
digitalhigh Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
HOLY SHIT. I've tried at poetry for a while, and can only hope to accomplish writing on this level someday. It's completely uncanny that you can fit so many thoughts and emotions into a space so much smaller. I am truly impressed. +fav
Reply
:iconsilentkitty:
silentkitty Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003  Professional Digital Artist
Wow.. Pretty much anything I'd say about it has already been said, so I'll just say thank you for sharing such an amazing piece. I don't normally comment on poetry on this site, just because I have no clue how to go about critiquing it (I'm definitely not a writer, lol), but I felt compelled to say how much I really enjoyed this one. The mental imagery your words bring up is just amazing; almost every line of the poem brings up a vivid image to mind. You should be proud of this piece; it's well deserving of the DD.

Hug Congrats on both the DD and the wonderful poem. :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconethereal-:
ethereal- Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
This poem seemed very mute until you would describe sounds. like everything was slow motion and mute... and then it would speed up with intense sounds and actions... and go back to slow and mute but still very interesting.

(love it) :) (Smile)
Reply
:icon-l0ki:
-l0ki Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003  Hobbyist Writer
Very well done...everyone else said everything else so much better.
Reply
:iconvampyrbrat:
vampyrbrat Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003   Writer
you my friend have an incredible knack for the creation of incredible pieces such as this, I love the very passive mood you portrayed, I think it suit this piece well, excellent work.

*miss brat, jenn
Reply
:iconmournfullmonk:
mournfullmonk Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003   Photographer
you know, i rarely read poetry, much less coment on it ...
but this, well this my friend, is simply amazing...
Reply
:iconbipolar:
bipolar Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
I have slapped myself not once, not twice, but thrice, for not reading your work until this moment. Splendid work, m8. This has to be the most gorgeous piece I've ever read, like a slo-mo film in my brain. New favorite, and I'm keeping an eye on you.

:D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconshared-stock:
shared-stock Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
Beautiful

inspiring

everything

Virgo
Reply
:iconzeda:
zeda Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
This is WONDERFUL writing! The choice of pace and wording and the artistic spacing REALLY make this a gorgeous piece! BRAvo!
Reply
:iconnenina:
nenina Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
very deep :) (Smile) great work!!
Reply
:iconcelia69:
celia69 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
It's as though you were actually in the car crash and know what it was like. Beautiful work, added to faves.
Reply
:iconulmo:
ulmo Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
chaos boy is into airbags... hmmm wonder what that must meen :D (Big Grin)
j/k
nice shot!
Eyes
Reply
:iconemericken:
emericken Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
i read the start of this, and it just wasntthere, then i read more into it, at the part of the car crash, and then i went back and looked, and everything made sense, its very powerful, i just dont see how u get this imagery, this creativity, this idea, without experiencing it. When i write its time where im passionate and more deeper feelings come to mind, i cant just pick up at any time, but with this im inspired to try harder to, great job.
Reply
:iconruchti:
ruchti Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003   Photographer
Okay, as much as I am personally obsessed with poetry and prose I have yet to ever comment on a piece of literature since I joined DevArt so long ago.

But this... this my friend, is sincerely amazing.

Words fail.

-thank you-

+fav



Reply
:iconslipstream3d:
slipstream3d Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003  Hobbyist General Artist
O_o

Wow.

+fav

One of the most amazing pieces of writing I've ever come across. It's like one of those slow-motion crash test dummy videos you see on tv... except the emphasis is exactly opposite- on the human in the car, not the car itself. It just sucks you in and makes it feel real.

Congrats on Daily Deviation!
Reply
:iconblorp:
blorp Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
I don't usually like poetry much, but this one really made me think. I love it - the image and the poetry. Great job!
Reply
:iconfallacies:
fallacies Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003   Writer
This work of yours is saturated with detail, you've woven an animated painting of words with an inner narative. This brief glimpse of moments of this life has been put together marvelously and I leave it feeling I know more than I could have had I been there, had I seen an independant film on it, or any painting. This achieves what writing can, and choosey moms choose poetics. Smooth peanutbutter, sharp taste, lovely.
Reply
:iconphlezk:
phlezk Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003

know what?
i don't like poetry.
but if this is poetry.
i fucking love it.
amazing.
you've converted me.

Heart

Reply
:iconsomnambulist:
somnambulist Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
Very impressive and hard hitting. :) (Smile)

Had to read it after I read the description for the Daily Poem. =p (Razz)
Reply
:icondanstijl12:
danstijl12 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
i can see why this is well liked - packed with imagery and intense wordplay, and the somewhat (by DA conventional) maverick spacing/breakups

i do have a couple suggestions for bringing this piece to maturity :

firstoff, this seems out of place : On the seat like his blonde haired blue eyed thin framed
Perfectly sculpted
(ideal)
daughter.

first, why is it important that we hear this? i can see some connection w/the mother description, one being physically "ideal" in a conventional sense, and one being truly beautiful in a more human sense - but i don't think it really matters to include this; it muddies up what could be a clear exposition : i'm seeing this as a framebyframe of a man living between incredibly tense forces, or in a state of emotional tension - the staying on the road - and what it's like when all that is thrown off - how can a little airbag stop a major equilibrium shift - and you capture this well, in the dissection of his body and the scientific, inevitable collapse of everything, as if there was never any way to stop or save things.

so, assuming this is where you're going, go with it all out - hone everything down - a lot of people say "i love the descriptions" and things of that nature - but description is just masturbation w/o a form to (as you prolly know arready)

so if this were my piece, i'd trump up the struggle b/t various forces to show the distanced inevitability of the destruction - and i really have no idea what you mean at the end; it seems like some kind of redemption or revelation w/death motif, but it really doesn't speak to me - you immediately distance yr reader w/the soon noos bit, and make whatever redemptive force you build up a total mystery - maybe you wanted to do that, though? i just think the ending doesn't properly channel the crushing power of the body well - very nice, though - only good stuff gets this big of a crit

cheers, let me know what you do, if you do.
Reply
:iconthamunda:
thamunda Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
I Love It . Great work man, wish I had the poetic mind and spirit to write such a great work such as this, *gaggles*
Reply
:iconserpent:
serpent Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
Great!!
Reply
:icondieselcola:
dieselcola Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
+fav Simply a classic in the making, a great poem!
Reply
:iconstaticblue:
staticblue Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
incredible.. i just don't know what to write. can't find the words to express how breathless this made me with such simplistic, yet such powerful imagery.
Reply
:iconne0g33k:
ne0g33k Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
Great poem, descriptive as anything.
Reply
:iconalcatote:
alcatote Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
*awed* AMAZING work chaosboy...
Reply
:iconchoke:
choke Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003  Student General Artist
...... ........... ..........
Reply
:icongummypocky:
gummypocky Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
I read the first few lines and couldn't stop. great piece :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconplastikwaren:
plastikwaren Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
it's rare that I am pulled in to a poem like a novel.
Reply
:iconuberbechin:
uberbechin Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
I'm not a fan of poetry or prose as such, but occasionally there is apiece that makes me feel something, as this one did...and after all, isn't that what it's all about? :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:icondreadventurouz:
dreadventurouz Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
It feels like I just spent ten minutes trying to find words to describe what I feel about this poem... still can't find any.
Reply
:iconambiance:
ambiance Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
Damn.


That was magnificent.


Not sure what else to say. Just... wow.
Reply
:iconlawwn-g:
lawwn-g Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
eek. this is the only poem i've finished reading on this site. none other has caught my attention. i like it ALOT.
Reply
:iconohyesitstom:
ohyesitstom Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
exceptional. I love poetry, but must confess rarely view it on deviantart. This may have just changed that.

Its the tone that does it for me, the gentle relaxed pace against what is being described. Nice work, +fav
Reply
:iconmooiamacow:
mooiamacow Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2003
... yummm..
Reply
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